Justme_234's Xanga

I'm going to las vegas to have a baby.

Sun, 20 Sep 2009 01:58:17 GMT

My friend got drunk and had a one night stand.
She doesn't regret it now.
How long will it take until she does?

I always find it weird that females have an attachment emotionally to sex more so than guys (From what I've seen, i'm not saying this is something that i have studied in depth ;P).

Honestly, I'm scared to have sex with a guy for this reason. Yes, I am 19 years old and still am a virgin. Promise. I wish I didn't have the mindset that i was going to be horribly attached to a person I have sex with. I don't like relying on people to make me happy, it just isn't healthy.

I also have that typical low self-esteem issue. Blame my parents. Blame the media. Blame my friends. Blame the males. I don't really care either way, it doesn't solve the problem that every time I pass by a mirror It's hard to look at myself.

Do I feel like I should have sex because I am almost the only virgin among my friends? Not really.
I just don't want to be lonely anymore, but I'm careful to not confuse that with "I need sex."

Is alcohol really worth it? Doesn't it seem silly that we must drink something so that everyone can just sit around and laugh?

Let's watch this city burn

Thu, 30 Jul 2009 18:52:54 GMT

I hate to sound like a whiny teenager. I hate to be upset. I don't like that I feel childish.. but..

My older brother told me how he felt that our parents did not take his feelings seriously and that he is constantly being laughed at.
It's true.

I told my mother (sadly she was drunk.. find a time she isn't drunk and isn't watching one of her TV shows. I haven't succeed yet.) .

Guess what happened? She brings up her bad childhood and rubs it in my face informing me that he didn't have that happen to him. I told her I apologize for caring about my brother and trying to fix something that I had once thought was easy to fix.
We had a few words. We screamed at each other.
Then she told me she didn't care.
I told her tell me something I didn't know.

I want out. I want a different family.
I quit.
Sadly, for financial reasons, I'm stuck.

:(

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:51:05 GMT

Yesterday you tried to drive my car drunk to go buy more cigarettes.
This week you bought more beer.
This month you promised you'd get healthier.
This Summer you tried to grow pot.
This year you pretended not to smoke pot.
This decade you've taught me the best skill I could possibly ever have: how to ignore.

How do you help someone who will not help themselves?

Are you suppose to tell a sibling something about their mother that would hurt them and cause drama in the family?